shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
