I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
