Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
