Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
