It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
