is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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