This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ladies don't puke and tell
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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