Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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