does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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