The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
