We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
