They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
