Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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