Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
