Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
