I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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