sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
