After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
