Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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