Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
