If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
