If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
