To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
