My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize