Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
