Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
