we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
