So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
FUCK WHALES
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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