CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
