I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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