i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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