No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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