Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
