Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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