So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
