we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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