Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
