Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You've changed since you got that strap on
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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