4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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