soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
