Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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