some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
