He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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