she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
