Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
