Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
