so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
