Cold hands, warm shart.
Umm I'm too high to move.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
