what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
