she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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