The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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