If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
