So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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