Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
