Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
