just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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